Happy Birthday

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

So it's 11 pm and I am supposed to be in bed asleep, but can't. Instead I am watching tv about an egyptian girl that was born with two heads. In the meantime, I have got a killer headache that I am sure will go away with sleep, and I find myself typing away here. Truth be told, I am restless. There is so much crap rolling around this head of mine that I wished it would stop. I have a paper to write for class, I have Elijah's birthday on Wednesday, I have to get my room spotless before he gets back on Tuesday, I've got work all week, baby shots Friday, child support hearing on the 4th (no I don't have to go, but it's still on my mind) and all I can do is sit up and watch Discovery Health. Now watching the story of the baby born without a face. I've also come to the realization that I HATE being lonely and am starting to long for a relationship. I want someone to talk to, to go out and do things with, to give a comforting hug. I really just want someone. Don't get me wrong, I love that little man I've got in my life, oh my goodness, he is just amazing, but not having him here for the past almost two weeks, just really made me see how much I miss being in a relationship. I would absolutely love one day to be married, and to hopefully have another baby, but at the rate things are going now, it's never going to happen, and that has really depressed me a lot this weekend. Also against better judgement, I have really been thinking about how things would have been if I had not gotten pregnant. Would things have worked out differently between his dad and myself? Would I have gone back to school or would I still just be passing time? I can honestly say that I can't imagine life without Elijah. He is so sweet and loving. I have missed the way he smiles at me when he first wakes up in the morning, and his little slitty eyes when he's feeling all lovey and then he slobbers you down with kisses. I also really miss my bed be taking over and having his little pudgy feet kicking me in the face in the middle of the night. I wouldn't trade things or change things, but sometimes I do wonder what if. Oh, well. I'll just keep praying that things workout the way that they are supposed to. That's really all that can be done. And who knows, maybe I will get married and have another baby before I get way too old.

Is it bad to be counting down to the end of the School Year?????

So it's close to the end of the school year and I'm starting to kinda feel a little guilty about counting down to the last day. It's not that I don't like my job, it's that I am just ready for the summer. I can't wait until my vacation, and nice hot weather. Not to mention not having to wake up early.

I really enjoyed my quick and speedy trip to Arlington this past weekend. I got to see just about everyone. I wished that I would have had more time to see more people, but it just didn't work out. I must admit, I did pout when I had to come back to Wyoming. I just have to keep telling myself that it's not forever, and hopefully it won't be!!

Elijah's birthday is coming up and I am somewhat sad about it. The year has just flown by. He's growing up too fast. I have to admit that at times I still wished that he was that tiny little boy that used to sleep in his bassinet beside me. Now he's a big boy that hogs the whole bed and kicks me in the face with his pudgy little feet. I still love him though!! Well, I don't have much more to say right now, I'm going to finish watching Little Miss Sunshine and try to go to bed and get some sleep so that I am prepared for tomorrow. See ya'll later!!

Good gravy!!! I need tons of chocolate and DP!!!!

Ok, so Spring Break is over and I'm back to work.

I think that last time I talked to ya'll I was freaking out over a test. Needless to say I pass my test with and 85!! Woo HOO!!!!! I got some points taken off for being too nervous and my signing was too hard to read since my hands were shaking so much. Well let's see...... during Spring Break Elijah got his pictures taken. I know it wasn't quite a full year, but it's close enough. The pictures were so cute and it was hard to choose the ones I wanted. I ended up spending twice as much as I had planned, but I guess that's how it goes and the reason why I only take him to get pictures once a year! He also went to the dentist. That actually went well. He doesn't have any cavities and I am supposed to start flossing his teeth.....noticed I said supposed to. Haven't quite made it around to actually trying it yet. He does pretty good when it comes to brushing his teeth. The only problem we have there is that he never wants to give the toothbrush up! I'm sure it's an ok problem to have.

He gave Grandma and Grandpa a scare yesterday. He was eating with Isabel and he had an allergic reaction to something. They took him into the ER and I met them up there when I got off work. He's ok now; they gave him some Benadryl and monitored him for a while before sending him home. He has his follow up visit tomorrow with his doctor and we'll see what they say. I was truly hoping that he wouldn't inherit all my allergy problems, but obviously didn't happen. Otherwise he is GREAT!! He finally got his first top tooth and has a total of three teeth. And boy let me tell ya he is proud of those teeth!

As for me, I am just looking forward to my visit to Texas and the end of the school year. It has been a long year especially with all the adjusting we have had to do. (New home, job, mommy role, and taking classes) I am just ready for a break from everything, well almost everything. I really don't have much more to say. I guess I'll talk to ya'll later!